Ways To Piss Off The Naruto Characters
by MusicAgainstTheHeart
Summary: Want to get the Naruto Characters on your bad side? Well if you do, CLICK ON THE MAGICAL BUTTON!
1. Sasuke

Ways to Piss off Sasuke

Ways to Piss off Sasuke

1.Ask him if hes advertising for Pokemon (look at this clans symbol, looks like a poke ball)

2.Dye his hair his least favorite color while hes sleeping

3.Video tape the process

4.Put it on youtube, your myspace page, and show it to the Fangirls

5.Run

6.Poke him every three seconds

7.Tell him Itachis in the closet then when he goes in, lock the door

8.Or put Sakura in there before he goes in

9.Then blame it on the winds 'windlessness'

10.Steel Kakashi's book and put it in his kunai pouch

11.Tell Kakashi where it is when he asks for it

12.Watch Sasuke get his ass kicked

13.Tell him Lee has feelings for him

14.Same with Neji

15.And Shino

16.Replace his shampoo with honey

17.Tell him that Narutos treating him to ramen

18.Tell Naruto the same thing

19.See their faces when they have no money to pay for 34 bowls of ramen (33 of those being Narutos)

20.Laugh at them

21.Run (again)

22.Ask him why hes emo

23.When he opens his mouth to reply, yell "BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY?!"

24.Call him 'the boy who lived'

25.Show him this list


	2. Neji

Ways to Piss off Neji

Ways to Piss off Neji

1. Tell him that Gai- Sensei wants him to wear a green jump suit from now on

2. And a cape

3. Braid his hair

4. Add beads

5. Dare him to say 'Youth' in public

6. Make him say it enthusiastically

7. Hide a recorder behind your back

8. Play it for everyone

9. Tell TenTen he sings 'Carwash' while shampooing his hair in the shower

10. Have Hinata be your witness

11. Ask him if a hot guy had ever asked him out because they thought he was a chick

12. 'Accidentally' cut his hair

13. Tell him you thought he would like a free hair cut

14. Tell him Lord Harashi (Hinatas dad) arranged a marriage for him

15. And it's with Kankuro

16. Put a fish down his shirt

17. Slip some hot n spicy sauce in his drink

18. Give him leave in conditioner for his birthday

19. And a hair clip

20. And a gift card to Limited Too


	3. Shino

**Ways to Piss off Shino **

1 Steal his glasses with your amazing ninja skills

2 If you suck as a ninja, or are just too lazy, get a pair just like his

3 Wear them ONLY around him

4 Hug him

5 Pat him on the head constantly

6 Ask him what his laugh REALLY sounds like

7 …Regret it

8 Suggest to the Hokage that he go on a mission as an 'Exterminator'

9 Ask him if his hair is naturally spiky

10 Or if its hair gel

11 Shove a cupcake in his face

12 Push him in a pool

13 Or, if you just aren't strong enough, poor a bucket of water on his head

14 Tell him Kiba said that in his spare him, Shino prances around in a pink, sparkly tutu and says "I may be a bug lover, but at least I'm a PRETTY bug lover!!"

15 And he says it to his stuffed Lady Bug Plushy

16 Watch Shino's eyebrow twitch uncontrollably

17 Ask him what would happen if you sprayed him with bug spray

18 If he doesn't answer (which, he probably wont) 'accidentally' spray him

19 Watch what happens

20 If he kneels over and dies…

21 RUN!!

22 … or blame it on 'Fate' (Neji?!)

**It took me FOREVER to think up ones for Shino. I'll have a Poll for the next one, SO VOTE!! **


	4. LeeGai

**Ways to Piss Lee/Gai Off **

1. (Lee) Soak his 'Dry Clean Only' jump suite in water while he still has it on

2. Attempt to get the mental picture out of your head after seeing Lee in a wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too tight of suite

3. Call him whatever names are the opposite of 'Youthful' such as 'Fragile' and 'Weak'

4. Ask him why he stole Gaara's eyebrows

5. Tell him yellow is the new green

6. Neon yellow

7. With sparkles to add youthful-ness

8. Tell him 'gullible' is written on the ceiling

9. …slap your forehead when he doesn't get your 'select' brain humor

10. Tell him that Gaara hurt him out of love (my bro came up with that one)

11. Replace his weights with Styrofoam

12. (Gai) Give Lee sake

13. Ask him if hes having an affair with Lee (t'would explain things….)

14. Ask him if he used to model for Speedo (t'would explain de poses…)

15. Tell him that Lee now fallows Kakashi for his 'Coolness'

16. Ask him if he uses Crest Whitening Strips

17. Tape a 'Will Pose For Food' sign on his back

18. Ask him about the random sunsets

19. When he starts crying, say "I know, I (insert witty comment here), too."

20. Kick him where the sun don't shine

**I had to do both of them since I really couldn't think of that many for Lee... but it still turned out okay, right? VOTE FOR DE NEXT ONE!! **

**UNTIL I GET AT LEAST THREE VOTES ON DE POLL FOR DE NEXT ONE... TO THE SPANISH- THAT- IS- HELL- WORKBOOK!!**


	5. Gaara

**Ways to Piss Off Gaara**

**Or**

**Ways to Insure Your Death **

**(you might want to right out a will before trying this out)**

**Gaara won the poll! Lucky him…. **

1. Read over his shoulder (if you can get that close)

2. "Make him watch a nature documentary

3. Put him on Opera

4. 'It's okay to feel sad…' said Mr. Rodgers

5. Watch all Hell break loose

6. Get him an anger management counselor

7. Furry, adorable kittens with bladder problems.

8. Let loose in house

9. Teach him to smile.

10. Slap him when he fails"

11. Perform a séance (try to summon ghosts) in his room involving a lock of Kankuro's hair and an angry possum.

12. When he asks you what the hell you're doing, glare at him and curse in Dutch.

13. Assume a few multiple personalities, such as a murderer of 3rd degree, an old lady working at McDonalds and a paralyzed cow

14. Tell him he should be grateful that Shukaku was sealed inside him _after _the raccoon got a nose job

15. Tell everyone that he has an obsession with plastic fruit

16. Delete all his songs on his IPod and download Barney and Sponge Bob

17. Take a cheese grater and shred mozzarella in his sock drawer

18. Spray him with one of those "Tan- in- a- Can" thingys

19. Get him a Baby Alive

21. When he asks if you're trying to hint at something, wink

22. Watch him scream and run away like a lunatic

23. Force feed him Temari's Meatloaf ( ACK! IT JUST MOVED!)

24. Breath

25. Exist

**Ahhhh... that was fun, no? I'm making a new Poll. **

**Remember: 3 votes! AND PWEESE REVEIW!!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	6. Kiba

**Ways to Piss Off Kiba**

1. Call him Dog-Boy

2. "Glue his mom to a wall

3. Create a clone of Shino and have him ride on a unicycle by Kiba's house two or three times"

4. While juggling Ino's bras **(1)**

5. Put Akamaru in a box and send him to Jamaica"

6. Sign him up to volunteer at a Seniors Center

7. Watch him call 'I- 42' while playing BINGO

8. Drop a bowling ball on his foot

9. Knock him out, bound and gag him, and throw him into the ball pool pit at Chuckee Cheese's"

10. Spray him with Pepper Spray every time he says "avocado"

11. Ask him if he uses K9 Advantix or Frontline Plus

12. Claim that Akamaru was humpping a park bench

13. Tie him to a chair and have him watch chick flicks for 48 hours nonstop

14. Paint Akamaru's nails bright purple

15. Tell him Shika did it

16. Prank call him

17. Tell him hoddies are so five minutes ago

18. Every time you finish a sentence, squat and say something COMPLETELY off topic

19. Put Post-It notes all over his house and label everything _'Mine!'_

20. Throw a stick and see if he will react

22. Laugh when he leaps and catches it in his mouth

23. Laugh harder when he tries to make an excuse by saying it was 'instinct'

**(1) I think I sniffed one too many scented markers when I wrote that one… **

**YEAH!! Another day, another way to piss someone off.**

**Did you see 'Naruto' last night? It was awesome, yes? 'Course It Was!! **

**New Poll!! **

**Vote!!**

**Reveiw!!**

**I'm an Orange! **

**...Okay, thats enough sticking scented markers up my nose. BUT I CANT RESIST THE TANGERINE FLAVOR!!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	7. Kankuro

**Okay, I know the majority of the voters wanted Kankuro, but there were more votes for the tangerine then him, which I find hilarious. So I'm doing him. I'LL WRITE UP ONE FOR HINATA NEXT, I SWEAR!!**

**Ways to Make Kankuro Want to use Crow on You**

1. Ask him if he and Cat Woman are seeing each other

2. Mix glitter in his make up

3. Tell him that if he already plays with dolls and wears make up, then whos to say he can't look 'pretty'?

4. "Place a pack of maxi-pads in his backpack when he goes on a mission

5. Gaara: I'm sorry, Kankuro. I feel bad for all I did to you. Want a hug?

Kankuro (Paranoid): All right, who paid him to say that? (Eye twitches)

6. When Kankuro asks you for something to drink, get him a glass of milk that says 'Gaara' on it.

7. When he notices, say 'Oops, wrong animal. Gaara's the human.' and give him a milk saucer that says 'Kankuro'.

8. Sell his virginity on E-Bay"

9. Tell him he lost to a fruit

10. Ask why he wears all black and say that it's a wonder he hasn't died of heatstroke yet

_11. Yet_

12. Switch his missions with those of the lower ranks and give him a D-Rank mission involving a 4 year-olds birthday party, a pool of lime jell-o, and a fedora

13. Tell him Gaara's cuter

14. And hotter

15. And a better ninja

16. See how many times it takes you to kick him where it counts for him to fall over

17. Talk to him only in Spanish for a week and a day

18. Somehow manage to put an octopus in the bathtub before or while hes in it

19. Or a shark, whichever

20. Remind him of the time he lost to a fruit

21. Point and laugh at him at random parts of the day for no reason at all

**Please Reveiw! Reveiws Make Me Feel All Warm and Fuzzy Inside! **

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	8. Hinata

**Whoo, chapter 8! Sorry it took so long, blame it on History Papers.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. If it was... (starts daydreaming in a very fangirl-ish way)**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart's Brother: Oh great. Shes gone. Ack! _DONT DROOL ON THE COMPUTER!!_**

**Ways to Piss Off Hinata**

1. Screw with her Karaoke Machine so every time she plays, she has to sing "I Kissed A Girl"

2. Bake a cake for her and forget to tell her theres a dead rat that's been sitting in the sun (for approximately three hours) in the center

3. Whip her with uncooked pasta every time she asks if you had seen her shoes

4. "Put her in a skin-tight dress and 7-inch heel boots. (You get the same result if you give a PMSing cat a bath)

5. Set her Eazy-Bake on fire

6. Get photo-graphic proof of her throwing a tantrum

7. Give her a MySpace account saying that shes a prostitute

8. Shove her head into a 16th century clay vase

9. Get her a date with the guy on the 6 Flags commercial

10. Get her a puppy with a weak bladder

11. Ty-Dye her jacket

12. Tell her the Hokage wants to see her… at 3:29 in the morning

13. Hide her shoes ( #3)

14. Somehow manage to get her in a Winnie the Pooh costume and jam the zipper

15. Make a bet with her saying that if she can walk up to Naruto without fainting, then you'll flirt with Shino, if she loses, she flirts with him

16. Watch Hinata and Shino walk into a restaurant together

17. Laugh your evil laugh

18. Watch everyone in a 12ft radius' eye twitch

19. Give her sister all the FanFic ways to piss her off

20. Play Dance Dance Revolution on her coffee table, without the DDR machine

**MusicAgainstTheHeart's Brother: New Poll! Vote! Ect.!**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart: (Glassy-Eyed)**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart's Brother: (Sigh) Thanks for Viewing!**


	9. Shikamaru

**Pissing Off Shikamaru**

1. Shove him into the way of an oncoming SUV

2. While hes talking with Ino in her family's flower shop, walk up to him and yell; "YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR KAKASHI- SENSEIS TOASTER! DON'T DENY IT!"

3. Bitch slap him (it'd be even funnier if you're a guy)

4. Change his ring tone to 'Here Comes the Sun'

5. Subscribe him to American Girl Magazine

6. Prank call him while discising your voice as a German terrorist

7. Blow puffs of smoke in his face

8. Offer to trim his nails… with a chainsaw

9. When it's Temari's 'time of month' tell her Shikas breaking up with her. Then go hide in a bunker for a little over 24 hours while the village is being destroyed by a PMSing 16year old

10. Sing Christmas songs in July

11. Put on a blindfold and run around the village screaming; "I'M BLIND! HELP! I CANT SEE!"

12. Get him high off sniffing Expo markers

13. Hold Yoga classes in his favorite spot for watching clouds

14. Push him into a washing machine

15. Take out the cream and fill his Oreo cookies with toothpaste

16. Get him tickets to see HSM3

17. Trap him in an elevator with Hannah Montana

18. Tie string around his tooth (while hes sleeping) the other end of the string is tied to a speed boat. Hit the gas

19. Put a chipmunk with rabies in his bed

20. While hes talking with the Hokage, run in and say "I'm pregnant! And I'm seventy- six percent sure it's yours!" (Again, funnier if you're a guy)

**Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Naaaaaaaaaah...**

**Reviews are like comfort food for when your 'True- Love' dumbs you, it makes you feel better. So...**

**REVIEW!!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	10. Choji

**Ways to Make Choji Want to Punch You**

1. Hid all the electric bills so that he loses power for the next three months

2. Jack his MySpace and create total chaos

3. Take his food. Period.

4. Write his name on a sign up sheet asking for volunteers to clean out the piranha tank at the aquarium

5. Let several mutant bats fly freely in his room

6. While wearing cleats, hide in a tree. Then when he walks by, 'fall' out, feet first

7. "The next time he's eating a sandwich, slip a potato chip into it and say "Choji? What's three inches long has six legs, eight eyes, and goes 'crunch' in a sandwich?" If timed right, he should bite the crunching chip exactly as he guesses the correct answer.

8. Poke him every three seconds using **TWO **fingers

9. Offer to buy him a coke. When hes not looking, dump out half of it and pour in Hydrogen Peroxide, screw the lid back on, and hand it to the unsuspecting Akamichi

10. "Make up a spin off of 'Which Backstreet Boy Is Gay?', by the Backstreet Boys, that goes along the lines of, "-One fat kid is thaaaaaat way- Weeee all know Chooouuuji's gay; _Tell me why! _He's sayin' he likes Shiiiika! _Tell me why!_ He's sayin' he likes Saaaasuke! _Tell me why! _He's sayin' he likes Rooock Lee! Weee know, Chooouji's gay!".

11. Slap him with a live flounder

12. Diet. Enough said

13. Tell little kids that the monster that lives under their bed is fat, has orange-ish hair, and wears something that looks like underwear on his head, just as Choji's walking past the Academy.

14. "Wrap aluminum foil around your head, and run around his apartment declaring you are warding away predators.

15. "Dig up the front yard, and claim you are looking for your forehead protector which is on your head.

16. "Make banana muffins, and cram them down his throat

17. "Shake Choji's hand. Declare it felt like shaking a two-cent sardine in a plastic bag

18. When he gets a zit, run around the village screaming that Choji's hit puberty

19. Tell him you have something really important to tell him, then fall asleep. When you wake up and he asks you what the important thing was, kick him and say "Don't call my mother that!"

20. Chuck the sign that says 'Wet Paint' of a bench and tell him to sit down

21. Get him a tie for Christmas for the sixth time

22. Play hid and go seek. He hides you seek. Forget to seek and go get something to eat.

**Yay! I updated! Go me! Go me! Go me!**

**Poll, Review, Mess- **

**You know, is it really necessary for me to say that? Probably not, cuz you're gonna do it anyway, right? **

**RIGHT!? (holds up a chainsaw)**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	11. Sakura

**Oh Lordy, its been what, a month? I'm really sorry, I've been very….distracted. Anyway, I think this may be my last "Ways to Piss Off-" chapter, since I wanna start on other things. The only way I'll continue is if I get 25 reviews this time next week. I know it's a lot, but I want to know if this is really worth continuing, so heres the possibly last chapter:**

**Ways to Make Inner Sakura to Come Out and Beat You to a Bloody Mess**

1. Shake her hand. Claim it felt as pudgy as a bloated Pillsbury Dough Boy.

2. Do the obvious, stick a 'Kick Me' sign on her back.

3. Color her hands in green sharpie while she sleeps. When she wakes up screaming and runs to your house (wearing a pair of oven mitts), say that it's a deadly South American rash that can only be cured by soaking ones hands in tuna and onions that are only grow in Siglavia.

4. Tell her 'Siglavia' doesn't exist AFTER she runs around asking all the villagers if they know of such a place (this would be the best time to put that 'Kick Me' sign on her back)

5. Start talking about how your Grandmother makes the best ravioli every time Sakura volunteers to sharpen your kunais.

6. Tell her that Asuma-Sensei wants her to "butter his muffin". Make sure this isn't during breakfast.

7. Become a stalker and uh….stalk her

8. Fallow her into the mall (this is where the "stalker" part comes into play) and watch her look at new bras. Transform into Kakashi, pick up a black one and say "This one would look good on you."

9. All her white clothes in washer. Add one olive colored sock.

10. Sell all her gold jewelry (they are very valuable these days). Use the money to buy a replica of the Akasuki robes.

11. Tell her the robes are the new 'in' look and that you have an extra. See how the rest of team 7 reacts when she shows up wearing it, hat and all.

12. Replace her fuzzy wuzzy hat for a fuzzy wuzzy sleeping bear cub.

13. Pretend to start choking at a public restraunt. When Sakura starts to hammer on your back and push on your stomach in efforts to dislodge the non-existent food particle, claim she was trying to molest you and that you were only gagging at the hair on her wart in the center of her forehead.

14. Switch the contents in her whipped cream and horse radish containers. Smirk as her face turns green with nausea when she tastes the 'whipped cream' on her pancakes.

15. While the tears are still coming, call Sakura and tell her Sasuke died last night. Unbeknownst to her, 'Sasuke' was your pet gold fish.

16. Give her cell phone number to a hobo.

17. Hide all of Tsunade's sake so that Sakura has to go out and get her some on her day off.

18. Deprive her of all things sweet and yummy-ful.

19. Switch the labels on her salt and sugar jars. Course, this could be a problem if she plans to bake you your birthday cake the next day.

20. Show her this list. And everyone eles' so that when she does these things to them, they'll all get pissed at her which should get her pissed off too. So in doing this, its like a two-for-one sale on those apple bottom jeans at JCPenny's.

**Thats it. Remeber: 25 reviews, one week!**

**Note for all Gaara fans (and who isn't?): If you guys want to read some funny stories about our fav red head, then go to: **Baby Cougar**'s profile and click on the story titled "**50 Ways to Make Gaara Want to Kill Me". **She and I flip-flop on different oneshots for it, so....after you're finished reading this sentence, go check it out, and when your done... REVIEW!!!! **

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**

**xxoo**


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